Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Au Revoir Dear Friend

I never had a pet before, I thought dogs were not worth the trouble
I did not want to wake up early to take you for a walk
I did not want to pick up after you when you went on a lawn
I wondered if having you meant we could not travel any more
I thought you would bring in fleas and shed on my carpet
I assumed you would bark when I was trying to sleep
I worried you would nip my child and gnaw on the furniture
Still I loved my daughter and wife too much so I reluctantly said yes

I was never so wrong in my life

The innocence of those bright eyes, the boundless joy of that wagging tail
A reward for a long day at work
You were my daughter's pillow, her best friend as you grew up together
The selfless love, the trusting companionship made it all worthwhile.

As the lymphoma ravaged your body,
Your eyes told us you wanted to go
With dignity and peace at home on the front porch
On a beautiful sunlight eve, among all the scents that you loved
One last car ride to the funeral home

Au Revoir dear friend, You changed my heart!
A lasting lesson not to prejudge anyone again.

I will miss not having to worry about stepping on you when I get up in the dark
I will miss having to comfort you during the next thunderstorm
I will miss those Border Collie eyes tracking my every move
I will miss your whine and whimper when my pager goes off
I will miss racing you up the stairs - I never did get to beat you till you got ill
I will miss how you chased the deer and geese knowing you could never catch them anyway
I will miss the long walks around the soccer fields

It was all worth while
I was never so wrong in my life, except
You did shed,  but now that you are gone, 
I don't want to vacuum those last memories from the carpet....

A day later....

But hark, what is this?
A lightening of the heart, a lifting of the gloom
This presence besides me
Of course, you will always be with us,
How did I assume you would ever leave us for long
How did I misjudge you again?
I was never so wrong in my life!